This entry's title was inspired by a Victoria Williams song that Soul Asylum covered. I was never much into the song, but always found the title amusing.
I had a neuropsychological evaluation done in late June, and got the results a month later. I was diagnosed not with dysthymia, but with Major Depressive Disorder. It kind of made sense, seeing as that I had basically been depressed since at least September. Not sad mind you, but I had basically felt like my body was on autopilot while my mind was somewhere else, and I had lost interest in a lot of things. The post-test plan has been to go to my medical doctor to get put on an antidepressant, and try to find a new therapist. I've not done a therapist search yet, but I have gone to my doctor and am currently on an antidepressant. I decided to try Cymbalta again since it seemed to be the medication I've tried that did the most good with the least worst side effects. I started off the first week with 30mg, then went to 60mg after that. I swear that I was feeling better within just a few hours of taking my first one. I did seem to have a little more energy, and while I still hated my job, I didn't hate it quite as much. I can't say I've noticed a significant improvement with the 60mg, and some of the side effects are bugging me, so today my doctor and I decided to just go with 30mg. I lost weight during the month of July, and I swear I had gained some weight since I started taking Cymbalta, but when I was weighed at the doctor's office today, I supposedly weighed two pounds less than my on my first visit three weeks ago. Either I've lost weight, and my belly is shaping up differently, or the girl at the doctor's office doesn't know how to use the scale. I always did find those scales that doctors normally use to be kind of odd. You know, the ones with the sliding things. I guess I'll have to use my mom and dad's scale to analyze my weight along with what I call "the Feel Test," which involves observing the shape of my belly, and how my clothes fit. Oh, and I was shocked when I saw how much the Cymbalta cost me: $40! I swear it would've only been $20 under my old pre-layoff insurance with Main ex-Employer.
My mom and dad decided a couple of months ago that it's about time for me to strike out on my own. While I don't think I can really afford it, I was active in looking for a place at first. I've been less active lately since the neuropsyche eval has cost me quite a bit (I've paid that office a total of $476 so far), plus I have some car issues I want to take care of. Looking for an apartment is almost as bad as looking for a job. There are too many things to factor into the search, like what areas I'd like to live in, or where I'd be willing to live if my favorite areas are too expensive, the cost of rent and if it covers utilities, if they allow pets, and looking to see if the place is a shithole. I looked up an apartment ratings site, and apparently every apartment complex is a shithole. The only thing that separates the higher rated complexes from the lower rated ones are that the higher rated ones have lots of ultra-positive reviews which were most likely done by people who work there, to make the score higher. There are only so many apartment complexes that advertise in apartment magazines and web sites, including Craigslist, especially in my preferred area, which is the Highlands area of Louisville. Seems like the best way to find an apartment in the Highlands is to walk around and see if there are any signs for apartments for rent, but I don't really have time for that. I sometimes think about settling for a place in the Shepherdsville or North Bullitt County area, but I'd kinda like to be able to vote for John Yarmuth.
The only way I can see myself living on my own is if I work voluntary overtime. I think 40 hours is too much time to spend at that place as it is, but I guess working 50 hours and going home to my own place, especially if it's closer to my stomping grounds, would be preferable to working 40 hours and going home to my mom and dad's house. And if I can stick with an antidepressant, it might not be so bad. It is nice to know that I can make more in a 10-hour OT shift at my current job than I would working 20 hours at Megalomart. I guess I'll try to start doing voluntary OT the week after Labor Day.
Speaking of Labor Day, it seems like it took forever for Winter to finally leave the Ohio Valley, and now it's almost the end of Summer. There's no telling anymore what Fall/Winter weather is going to be like, I'm kinda hoping it will be milder than last season. But again, who knows? All I do know is that, god damn it, I want to move to California!
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