Over and over again

I was hoping to post earlier today, but the site was acting all wonky. They must have been short of help or something since it's Mother's Day.

The last three days were sheer Hell. I think I've pretty much repressed the memories of the actual work, so I'm not going to dig them up here. I can say that there are some managers who I absolutely cannot stand. I'm also still reeling from the ex-coworker's engagement. I try, but I can't stop thinking about it, it's like that damn Nelly song, "Over And Over". I'm aware that that kind of thinking isn't healthy, and I'm afraid of turning into some Darth Vader-esque monster if I keep it up.

As if I wasn't miserable enough, I had some dizziness to deal with on top of all that, possibly due to the Lexapro. Some of the known side effects are Dizziness, weight gain, and increased blood pressure. When I started on Lexapro in 2009, I was taking 10 milligrams. It seemed to make me dizzy at times, mostly when I had to be really physically active. When I realized that the Lexapro was the most likely cause, I cut myself down to 5 milligrams, and felt better, or at least I got dizzy a lot less frequently. Today, I only took 2.5 milligrams. I've been wondering for a while if the supposed benefits of the medicine outweigh the real hassles of the side effects, and have considered slowly weaning myself off of it. I guess I should call my psychiatrist first, but I hope I won't have to make an appointment since I don't have much money at the moment. I'm afraid that she'll try to get me on some other kind of medicine instead of letting me try to get off antidepressants altogether. With the exception of withdrawals, I don't see how I could end up in any worse shape than I was five years ago before I started taking them. It should be noted that my general practitioner started me on antidepressants a year before I started seeing my psychiatrist, so my shrink really didn't get to know me when I wasn't taking them.

On a brighter note, the bridge that I pass on my main way to town is no longer flooded over, so I don't have to take the long way around. :)