I always feel like I'm just one fuckup away from losing friends. And people wonder why I'm always so stressed out. It has happened before, it will probably happen again. Sometimes, those "friends" are just assholes. Here are a few stories of times within the past year(!) where I fucked up and lost "friends".
In my previous entry, which I recommend reading before starting on this one, I mentioned that I realized last Summer that I was never going to "people" properly. This was after an incident that involved a woman I met at the beginning of 2024 who I happened to first hear the term "neurospicy" from. We ended up not talking a lot after we friended up on Facebook. I messaged her at the end of February asking how she was doing, got no response. That Summer, she invited me to a neurodivergent goalsetting group on Facebook. One Saturday last July, I asked my best friend that morning what she was up to that day, she didn't reply until much, much later that day. I was super depressed and needed someone to talk to, and during that time before my best friend finally responded, I saw that the woman I met at the beginning of the year was online. Instead of asking "How are you?", I decided to tell her a story about something that was bugging me that was related to the group, but I didn't want to share in the group because reasons. Well, she said she wasn't going to read all that. Long story short, she interpreted what I thought was an attempt at starting a conversation as me trying to make her my therapist, and after a little back-and-forth that was civil on my end, she told me she was blocking me because she didn't need more work to do. Jesus fucking Christ, I can see how it could've been interpreted as me needing a therapist, but I would've just left her bitch ass alone, blocking me was unnecessary. This was an example of two neurodivergents mixing like oil and water.
I hate Winter, and I was especially miserable from December 2024 until about the end of March. Some of this was weather related, since January and February were fucking cold and occasionally icy, and March was downright stormy and soggy. But it had more to do with being isolated, especially after having been unfriended by four people over the course of one weekend in December, three of whom I believe unfriended me because of someone who unfriended me in November, and then not hanging out with anybody outside of a couple of monthly events, not even my best friend, who had her share of adversity in November and December. I made a new friend at the end of March, and hanging out with her has helped me get over last Winter's bullshit some. But I feel like I need to tell this story one last time and put it on the record. Before I start, I have to list the cast of characters:
- The Promoter
- The (Gay) Acquaintance (I'm still Facebook friends with him)
- The Other Woman (Someone I had met the previous Spring who, unlike the rest of the cast, is only loosely connected to The Promoter at best)
- Miss Thang (An ex-crush)
- The Artist (He's been Miss Thang's boyfriend since last Summer)
- Twenty (Close friend of Miss Thang, and someone I had known for twenty years)
As of October 2024, I had been Facebook friends with The Promoter for three and a half years, but I was starting to get the impression that he was getting a little irritated with my online presence, namely my comments or responses to his friends' comments. I first noticed something was off when a comment I made about not knowing he had been in a local band who opened for a touring band I went to see in 2010 was deleted. Later in October, he started a fun post asking people which band had the better discography, Judas Priest or Iron Maiden. Not who was better, but who ultimately had the better albums. I played along and gave my answer, he Liked it. One friend of his essentially said that it depends on the period of time, like now versus ten, twenty, thirty, or forty years ago. But what intrigued me was his last paragraph:
"That being said, the Priest vs. Maiden thing doesn't always make sense when you consider the differences in origin, style, performance, etc."
That was interesting to me because I always found people pitting Priest versus Maiden funny because Priest had a lot of albums out by the time Maiden's first album came out. I replied to the guy and said as much, along with mentioning another commenter's "Elvis vs. Beatles" comment, and saying that pitting Priest versus Maiden is like pitting Black Sabbath against Witchfinder General or St. Vitus. This guy Liked my response. He responded with some good points, and I Liked it. Then The Promoter responded to me with:
"If you don't understand the question don't comment on the post? It's not about pitting fans of the bands against each other. Or which band is better."
I apologized, saying that I was just having fun, and also pointed out the flaws in my response to his friend. But seriously? I don't get out much and pretty much live on Facebook, this is sometimes the most interaction I get outside of work on my work days. I showed one of my best friends screen shots of this exchange. She does not know the promoter personally, but she concluded that he's a massive dick, and that I shouldn't have bothered apologizing to him.
Fast forward to November 6th. Waking up to the election results was bad enough, but I also discovered that a friend who I absolutely adored and never got to know as well as I would've liked had died. This was made even more tragic by the fact that her husband died just three and a half years before, and they had a very young child who would grow up without either parent. The world had really gone to shit. But my favorite venue's monthly karaoke was that night, and I would be celebrating my birthday there although my actual birthday was still a few days away. I went out for coffee before karaoke, and was scrolling down my feed on Facebook. The (Gay) Acquaintance shared a post about how The Heritage Foundation's Director Of Finance was the owner of Hobby Lobby, and he added that there are all kinds of similar places to shop that aren't trying to make life harder for kids who are like him. I Liked the post. The Promoter commented that Hobby Lobby and Bucc-ee's both give millions to hate groups. I knew about Hobby Lobby, but Bucc-ee's was news to me. The Acquaintance replied that he didn't understand why everybody loved Bucc-ee's, and thought it was common knowledge that they donate to hate groups. I replied to him that it's not that well known, especially with Bucc-ee's being a fairly new entity in Kentucky. The Promoter piped in responding to me with:
"It takes 2 mins to look up a company's politics. 2 mins."
For some reason, probably due to his previous antagonism, this set me off. I told him that I don't have the time to look up every god damn company, and even my gay Progressive brother FROM TEXAS(!) has even less time to look this shit up and he probably didn't even know about Bucc-ee's either. Then The Promoter responded with:
get the fuck out of here with that "do you know how many there are" crap.
Next is well, I gotta shop somewhere, don't I?
The best response I could come up with at the time was, "Uh, no." Because seriously, what the fuck? All I was saying was that it wasn't common knowledge. Maybe it wouldn't have gone down like that had I said in my first comment that I'll boycott them and spread the word now that I know.
Right afterward, I made a passive-aggressive post goofing on the fact that we're all supposed to know this, but I included a link to an article about Bucc-ee's CEO giving money to some asshole politician in Texas. A couple of minutes later, I saw that The Promoter unfriended me. I'm guessing he unfriended me after the comments, I doubt he saw my post, but I edited that post to go from passive-aggressive to aggressive-aggressive, even calling him out.
Not long after that, I saw Twenty post about the karaoke going on that night. I commented that I'd be there celebrating my birthday. I then saw The Promoter comment that he'd be there. I thought, "Oh, joy." 😒 It was funny though, I sat in the very front, The Promoter sat in the very back. The Three Fuckheads sat with him. Miss Thang didn't acknowledge me until she was on her way out, giving me a hug and wishing me a happy birthday. I had told a few people about the argument between me and The Promoter before the event and our falling out, but not everyone. Like, I didn't tell the Fuckheads because I didn't think they needed to know, this was strictly between me and The Promoter. I wasn't trying to turn anyone against him, I was, and still am, fine with people being friends with both of us, I was just saying he's an asshole.
I got confirmation from my gay Progressive brother from Texas that he didn't know that Bucc-ee's CEO gave money to Gregg Abbott and other fuckheads, so the Promoter can get the fuck outta here with that shit.
To be continued.
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