I have a freakishly long memory. Apparently, a lot of people on the Autism Spectrum do. I think one reason a lot of people are happy is because they forget so much, and don't have so much trauma piling up in their heads. I'm not so lucky. I'm still haunted by stupid shit I've said or done 30 to 40 years ago. It's possible that I perceive time differently from most people because of this, like 20 years ago is a long time ago, but it probably doesn't feel as long to me as most people. Having a long memory is probably why I have a hard time getting over stuff, and can hold a grudge indefinitely.
The Promoter and his promotion have an event every December involving Krampus. I had never gone before, but I decided to go last year despite my falling out with him since a lot of friends would be there, it was in a fairly large venue that was neutral territory, namely the same place where I mentioned going to do karaoke in Part 1, but most importantly, there was probably fuck-all going on anywhere else. I had no idea how The Promoter would react to my being there. I figured one of two things would happen: either he would ignore me, or he would kick me out.
One "friend" who I knew would be there was actually working the show. She was someone who Friend Requested me on Facebook the previous Spring. We had a lot of fun talking for a couple of days, met up right after that, and...she seemed to lose all interest in hanging out. I eventually gave up messaging her. Anyway, she's the one I'm referring to as The Other Woman. She was one of the first people I saw before I went in. I mentioned my falling out with The Promoter to her. I only mentioned it because she asked me if I was going to get my picture taken with Krampus, and I told her probably not if The Promoter was playing Krampus, which it turns out he wasn't.
The Acquaintance had a booth there, promoting his variety troupe and their next show that was coming up in April. I told him that I wasn't sure how The Promoter was going to react to my being there, and I'm pretty sure I also said that The Promoter can eat a dick.
Why would I talk shit about a promoter at his own event? Because I'm a dumbass who will never learn how to "people" properly!
When I finally did see The Promoter, he was actually nice to me! I wondered if he had completely forgotten about our argument and him unfriending me, but that's when I remembered that some people have so much going on that they forget and get over a lot of shit. As I told some friends, him being cordial was not on my bingo card. I figured I'd let bygones be bygones and let it go.
The Artist had a booth there. He ended up giving me his Krampus print. Miss Thang went all out getting made up like Krampus. Twenty was also there, I didn't really talk to him much. I took selfies with lots of friends, saw some good bands. The only real downside was that before I left, I mentioned getting a selfie to The Other Woman. She was like, "A selfie?". I may have turned around and talked to a friend or one of her coworkers, and when I turned back around, she was gone! I was afraid that I might have crossed some boundary and scared her off. But I still messaged her the next day saying it was good to see her, and was sorry that I didn't get to say "Bye" before I left. She never replied. Other than that, it was a wonderful night. I was feeling good about myself. This was on a Saturday night, so I had to work early the next morning and had stayed up past my bedtime, but it was worth it. I had been watching "Dragon Ball Daima" around that time, and the last line of the of the opening title song as translated in the subtitles goes, "I want to meet someone amazin' again tomorrow!" That was how I felt for most of the week after the event. I wish I could have that much fun every day.
The Friday morning following the event, I saw that I had one less friend on Facebook. It was The Other Woman. I guess I did scare her off. But Facebook will occasionally unfriend two people without their knowledge, and I had learned that instead of assuming the worst, it sometimes helps to ask the other person if they unfriended you, because they probably didn't! So I messaged and asked her if she unfriended me, that I was sorry if I made her uncomfortable, and that I was asking because sometimes Facebook will unfriend people. She never replied. I posted on Facebook that while I've accepted the fact that I will never learn how to "people" properly, it still hurts when someone rejects me. Or to paraphrase Stone Temple Pilots, I think someone's kinda neat, and they tell me I'm a creep. I also mentioned that someone who was at the event apparently wasn't as happy to see me as I was them. Miss Thang commented, saying that it probably doesn't help with peopling to make posts like that. And that maybe not speaking negatively loudly about promoters at their own events would help, because people see and hear things. When I read that, I was like "Well, shit." I guess word got back around to The Promoter. I sent her a few responses, she didn't reply to any of them, I don't know if she even saw or read them. One response was that The Promoter was a dick to me, and that I really won that particular round of "Peopling". I noticed not much later that The Artist unfriended me. Miss Thang unfriended me the next day. Then the following Monday, I saw that the guy I had known for twenty years unfriended me. That really hurt, but he can be a self-righteous prick. The Promoter's "club" page had still been following me on Instagram, but they unfollowed me, and I also got blocked from the "club"'s Facebook page.
I felt like the good time I had the previous Saturday was a lie.
I assume that these people were butthurt because I talked shit about their buddy. It's also possible that someone could've heard me talking to a friend or two about The Artist and how he got to take his girlfriend to concerts I wanted to go to (and should've been taking her) but couldn't, and he was kinda living the life I should've been living. Some people would probably call that talking shit, but I really spoke highly of him and was envious. By Christmas Eve, I was no longer mad at The Promoter, and even sent him a message apologizing for being a jackass. I don't think he saw it, it sent as a Message Request. But getting unfriended by four people over the course of a weekend really fucked me up. Like, what do the Three Fuckheads think I do at home, plot revenge? No, I'm just over here chilling with my cats and watching movies and Youtube videos! I was isolated all Winter and felt like I had no friends, which wasn't technically true, but I only got to see people at my favorite venue's monthly karaoke and monthly Goth/Industrial Nights, so about twice a month.
Are these people happy that I was alone and fucking miserable? Does the destruction of a person really build character, as Superjoint Ritual so eloquently put it? Because I was completely and utterly destroyed, and it didn't build shit except more bitterness. I couldn't move on until I really got to hang out with friends again.
While I was working on Part 1 and going through the "receipts" from November 6th, I noticed the punctuation of The Promoter's comment. It was just periods, and maybe not as antagonizing looking as I originally interpreted it (See Part 1). It just felt to me like,
It takes 2 mins to look up a company's politics. TWO MINUTES!
So, I went all the way back to The Acquaintance's post and replied to The Promoter, apologizing for possibly taking what he said the wrong way and blowing up at him, and for still being mad about it a month later and being a jackass. We didn't have to be friends again, but it would be nice to know that I could go hang out with mutual friends at his events, and not get kicked out or something. I also did this because I didn't want to lose any more mutual friends of ours, meaning The Promoter and The Three Fuckheads, over this bullshit.
In return, he blocked me. It has given me an odd sense of closure. If I had known it would all lead to this, I might have replied to him back then with something like, "It takes two minutes to lick on these nuts! TWO MINUTES!"
As mentioned previously, The Three Fuckheads were not privy to all this, so they may still have no idea why I would talk shit about The Promoter. The reason I wrote all this was to get my side of the story out there, and hopefully never talk about it again.
The inspiration for the title comes from Superjoint Ritual's song "The Destruction Of A Person", off the album "A Lethal Dose of American Hatred".
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