As soon as I was finally getting over last Fall/Winter's bullshit (see previous entries), someone else had to go and break my heart. One of my biggest karaoke crushes blocked me on Facebook last Thursday. Why, I don't know. The last time I saw or talked to her was at a silent disco three weeks prior. The top reason I can think of for blocking me would be she got tired of her notifications blowing up from all my Likes on her posts and stories. The last posts of hers I reacted to were one about her not meaning to turn a work meeting into a therapy session, and one about being in the middle of a river. Or, maybe someone told her how much I really liked her? The girl has been through some shit this year, so I can't hate her too much, but it still hurts. Trying to make new friends at the monthly karaoke has been a fool's errand. I'm still friends with a few of them, but it seems like I just end up alienating people after a while. It's almost like I shouldn't bother talking to anyone who I wasn't already friends with before I started going there.
The KJ from the monthly karaoke has a weekly karaoke gig at a bar on Tuesdays. I rarely went at first because it starts at 9:00, and I'm dead to the world on Tuesday nights after working around 36 hours in three days, or occasionally 40-44 hours in four days. Since December, it had been a combination of that and the fact that one of the fuckheads who unfriended me in December attends every week. I decided to go this past Tuesday since I was on vacation. I probably shouldn't have, since I might have been agitated when I went in, and got more agitated while I was there. I want to emphasize that it was no fault of my friends, it was more things like having a speaker directly over us blasting music, so I couldn't hear and join in their conversation, or just waiting on the bartender. I knew that the fuckhead would be there, but I wasn't expecting the girl who blocked me to be there, which made things even more awkward. She didn't acknowledge me, which proves that the blocking wasn't a mistake, or just some FB glitch. After doing two songs, I decided I would do another two. But after a while, I just felt out of place, and I was like, "Fuck it, I'll just do this next song and go home."
It's funny to me that the best friend I've made in the past 2+ years is someone who found me on a dating app. She's helped keep my spirits up, and I try to keep her spirits up when needed.
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