This is my first entry of the year, hell, the first since November. I never imagined that life would get even stranger. One thing I was hoping to do during the post-Peak "slow season" was look into a career counselor. But not enough time had passed before they decided to merge the shifts, making it to where I would have to take off from work to do it. Then the pandemic hit. My job was deemed "essential", so I've been able to work. The pandemic has given my employer an excuse to be even stingier than normal. My department is considered "indirect labor", and they're trying to cut indirect labor costs wherever they can. One way they've done this is by not replacing people that we've lost. We need a minimum of four people, and we now have three. I really can't stand having to do the work of three or four people, and it's amped up my anxiety not just at work, but when I'm off work as well. Seems like I spend every moment at home dreading going to work. It's an awkward time to be looking for work, but I need to update my resume soon.
Have I ever mentioned that I hate my dad? He's not just racist, but he's hateful all around. I sometimes think that the only time he'll be truly happy is when he's dead. I regret moving back in with my parents, but I didn't feel like I had much choice. I wish I could afford to live on my own, or find a reliable and tolerable roommate to move in with. Between work and my dad, the anxiety seems nonstop.
I really miss getting to go to the movies, hanging out at coffee shops with my laptop, and actually getting to go inside restaurants to eat. And though I'm an introvert, I miss having the opportunity to do these things with other people. Basically, the main difference between life now and life before the pandemic hit is that now I get all of the misery with none of the things that made life bearable.
