Thursday, October 25, 2012

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

I believe this first part was written on October 18th:

I've got somewhat good news on the overtime front. While it seems that the overtime might not be going away soon, the OT nights have changed. Instead of my shift crew being split into three groups to work Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, we're now split into two groups to work Thursday or Friday. While I'm not excited about the thought of working 50 to 55 hour weeks for almost every week until the end of the year, I am glad that I won't have to worry about working on Saturdays. I've realized recently that I've been on the night shift for about two and a half months now, and that 2.5 months has flown by, so hopefully the next two and a half months will fly by as well.

The rest of this is new:

Our work load is back down to relatively normal levels, but they've still got us on overtime. I thought for sure  that they would have cancelled it, and I was really hoping they would because my girlfriend actually has Friday night off, and is hanging out with some friends on Saturday, so we were going to hang out on Friday if there was no overtime. But since it looks like I'll be working on Friday, no can do. I'd love to have whatever it is that the upper management where I work is smoking.

There were two things that happened at work on Tuesday that pissed me off. The first was the news that management weren't budging on the OT. The second was when one of our lead people sent a message over our RF guns saying that we started off terrible, about an hour after our direct manager sent us a message saying that we were kicking butt. It's like, which is it, are we doing good, or are we sucking? Just the day before, I heard Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called To Say I Love You", which is one of those songs that I like because it came out at a time when it seemed like there wasn't a whole lot to life except watching TV and playing with toys.Well, there was also The Cold War, but that's another story. And there was school, but then again, another story. But anyway, I was a spoiled middle class brat, and my dad busted his ass to provide for us, and eventually retire early. (Granted, my dad seemed to spend most of his time either at work or at the little podunk bar down the road, but again, 'nother story.) So after getting pissed off about the two situations at work, the song popped up in my head, which got me to thinking about toys and stuff, then got me to thinking that if I knew what my dad had to put up with in order for me to have those toys, or what I was having to put up with at that moment, I probably would've been like, "Eh, fuck it." And by "it", I mean life. I then kind of retreated into my head. I thought a lot about what I would want to write in here about that part of my childhood, and had some other weird ideas, one inspired by the overdose scene in the movie "Trainspotting", except instead of overdosing on heroin and having Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" playing, I'd just go catatonic and be in my mental happy place, with "I Just Called To Say I Love You" playing. I don't really want to talk any more about it, but going in that direction in my head was probably preferable to the seething white hot hatred that I had felt before then. One more thing though, I just remembered that the piss-offedness wasn't just about work, but also had to do with reading some comments on Facebook that some people that I went to school with made about the Presidential election. I think the less said about that, the better.

(Update: while talking to my brother about this, he reminded me of a better example of someone retreating into their "happy place", and that would be the in the movie "Brazil".)

I am so freaking fed up with with this job. (Update: evidently I'm not the only one that feels this way.) They say that it's easier to get a job when you have a job, but I'm pretty sure it's easier to look for a job when you don't have a job. Eh, I guess I'll take some time to look for another job when I go on my extended weekend in two weeks.

Here's the Ramones version of Tom Waits' "I Don't Want To Grow Up".




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