Freaking out about the future

Between the death of the acquaintance that I mentioned in my previous post, the fact that I probably won't be going to school until next year (and continuing to work until then), and the thought that we might possibly have a Republican President next year, I've really been freaking out about the future even more than normal.

Since I won't be going to school for a while, I've considered applying somewhere that my Vocational Rehab people can probably help me get a job with. What freaked me out was when my Voc Rehab person asked me if I intended to stay on at this place after I start school. I have no intention to, since I don't think I could juggle school and work, but I know that doesn't look good since companies (supposedly) want people who would be in it for the long haul. I'm also afraid that if I go to work there, then I might make too much money to qualify for a Pell Grant for the 2012/2013 year. Then again, we'll be lucky if the GOP doesn't take that away from us.

I was shocked and saddened on Thursday when I learned about the passing of Doug Norman. I was never really really close to him, but I always enjoyed talking music with him. He was an especially big fan of 1960's Garage/Psychedelic Rock, and even fronted a Garage Rock band called Thee Flying Carpets. When I discovered the Carpets at the end of 2004, they were on hiatus, but had a CD out. I finally met Doug the following Summer at Louisville Mojo's Second Birthday Bash. In 2007, I finally got to see Thee Flying Carpets play live with a revamped lineup. Between 2007 and now, I think I only got to see them two, maybe three times. It would have been four or five had I stuck around long enough at one show, and gotten to another show early. He sent me a message one time on Louisville Mojo, congratulating me for locking a thread in the forums about Louisville's smoking ban. We were both for it. I used to see him pretty frequently at Third Street Dive, whether it was for a show or The Midnight Hour Sound System, an event that went on on most Thursdays where some DJs would play records from or inspired by the 1960s. I saw him there the past couple of times that I went to see The Midnight Hour Sound System, but didn't bother to talk to him. I'm not sure why I didn't talk to him, maybe I just didn't have much to say. Then again, I hardly ever talk to anybody anymore, especially when I'm listening to music inside a bar. Since I was in town this past Thursday, a trip to the Dive was pretty much mandatory. I made it a point of actually trying to talk to people this time. It was totally what I needed.

I don't think I can bring up Third Street Dive here without paying tribute to Steve Gordon, who pretty much started the place up. I didn't really talk to him a whole lot, probably because it was rare when I didn't see him talking to somebody else, and I hate interrupting conversations*. I actually first met him back in 1997, he worked as a temp at my then employer for a day and a half, but we had some good conversations in that time. It took me a few years after I started going to the Dive before I finally did talk to him, and asked him if he remembered working at the place where I first met him. I think the fact that I could remember that time so well might have freaked him out a little bit. Sadly, I didn't really talk to him a whole lot after that, either.

*Seriously, I don't know how to come up and talk to people when they're talking to somebody else. I think it's rude to just come up and bust in, but if I go up and just stand there, not saying anything while waiting for an opening, I come off like a creep. End side note.

My heart goes out to my friends who were really close to these guys, as well as their other friends in these circles who have passed away this year. There have been too many of them, and they've died way too young. It really makes me want to do something better with my life than busting my ass for slave wages while getting yelled at by some psycho bitch. Life is too short for that shit.